Old Scrotum, the Wrinkled Retainer ([info]lordlucan) wrote,
@ 2009-06-19 16:02:00
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Epic fail!
Here, my darlings, is a tale of fail so epic I can't possibly not share it!

OK, so, on Tuesday I made my first ever online visa order that wasn't a pizza. My old landline phone, which must have been fifteen to twenty years old, crapped out on me, so I ordered a new one from Dick Smith. It arrived yesterday, but I only had time to take it out of the box before I had to rush out again.

I went out and did some stuff involving, among other things, my first ever attempt at karaoke, something I swore I'd never do. The first song I sang was the Scotsman song, which wasn't on the list so I had to sing it without any backing music. Went down well, got a nice big cheer. I also got a fairly good response for my rendition of the King Herod Song from Jesus Christ Superstar. I tried to model my version on that of Rik Mayall. Buckets of fun, really it was!

Anyway, back to the phone. So, I got home rather tiddly and tried to set my sexy new phone up, and ran into trouble immediately - the power supply just would not fit into the phone base. I tried forcing it, but it was clearly the wrong size. Then I did something really fucking dumb - maybe the metal ring thingie on the plug is supposed to come off, thinks I, so I tried to take it off. With my teeth. While it was plugged in. The pain when my tongue touched it told me in no uncertain terms that this was a Really Really Bad Idea. By rights I should have Darwin'd myself out of the gene pool right then and there!

It was abundantly clear that the power supply was definitely the wrong one, so today I took it to Dick Smith and they replaced it for me. Got it home, the new one works grand, and all is well with the world.

About ten minutes ago, I was putting the cardboard box into my recycling bin and guess what fell out of it! Oh yes indeed, my sweethearts, it was the proper power supply for the phone. Oops.

One of two things happened here.

1: Somehow the box contained two power supplies, one ancient which I tried to use, plus the proper one which I didn't spot. That's what I'm hoping happened, because it makes me look less of a dickhead, but it's very unlikely.

2: This is far more likely - when my new phone arrived, I took all (OK, almost all) the bits and pieces out of the box and threw my old phone out immediately, except for the power supply which I missed. I got home drunk, saw all the bits and pieces on my floor, failed to notice that I was trying to use the old power supply, assumed that Dick Smith, and not I, had fucked up. My old phone must also have been a Uniden, but being fifteen to twenty years old, all brand identification was well and truly gone, hence my total failure to even think this was a possibility. And I couldn't check, because it had already been thrown out. And I don't mean into my bin where it could be retrieved, I mean GONE.

I have called Dick Smith, told them what the story is, they thanked me for my honesty, and I'll be taking the extra power supply back when I go into town this evening.

And that, my delights, is muppetry of which only a Pooky is capable.

Love yez all! :)



(9 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]paperprincess
2009-06-19 04:15 am UTC (link)
I'm so sorry, but I have to admit your story was rather entertaining. I feel bad and shall be hopping into a handbasket going directly to some sort of dark scary underworld of sorts.
I will fully admit that I actually feel your pain. I once did the rather foolish thing of touching a bug zapper to see just how much juice was in one of those blasted contraptions. I will state for the record that there's plenty and no bug should be able to walk and/or fly away to tell the tale.

And might I add, egads Rik Myall has aged not so gracefully.. but he's still a delight to see perform in any roll.

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[info]lordlucan
2009-06-19 04:25 am UTC (link)
Ach, it was supposed to be entertaining! Muppetry of this magnitude must not be allowed to go unlaughed at!

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[info]paperprincess
2009-06-19 04:31 am UTC (link)
Then you succeeded! I giggled from beginning to end, I promise! :P

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[info]lordlucan
2009-06-19 04:43 am UTC (link)
I have also emailed the guy from Dick Smith who told me to take it in and told him the whole story. I hope he also finds it entertaining.

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[info]paperprincess
2009-06-19 04:44 am UTC (link)
If he finds it have as amusing as I did you'll be one customer he never forgets.

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[info]ihave_themoon
2009-06-19 11:32 am UTC (link)
glad you didnt fry yourself :)

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LOL
[info]alexandriash
2009-06-19 09:13 pm UTC (link)
You definitely amused Me, Pooky!
I'm glad you're still around to tell us this wonderfully hilarious tale!
Though really, with your TEETH?
*sigh*

Edited at 2009-06-19 09:13 pm UTC

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Re: LOL
[info]lordlucan
2009-06-20 02:06 am UTC (link)
I know! I should, by rights, have been Darwin'd out of the gene pool right then and there!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]dogsdayout
2009-07-06 08:37 am UTC (link)
Um, hi! :D You may not remember me, but we used to talk, years and years and years ago, back when I was a wee little shit. My username was [info]kisaka back then. ^^;;

And, uh, Pooky, don't worry about the power supply thing. I did essentially the same thing once... I stuck my finger in the lightbulb socket of a lamp. Though, in my own defense, it was plugged in, though not turned on.

Anyway, I just happened to think of you a little bit ago, and thought I'd drop by and say hello.

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