Old Scrotum, the Wrinkled Retainer (lordlucan) wrote,
Old Scrotum, the Wrinkled Retainer
lordlucan

Epic fail!

Here, my darlings, is a tale of fail so epic I can't possibly not share it!

OK, so, on Tuesday I made my first ever online visa order that wasn't a pizza. My old landline phone, which must have been fifteen to twenty years old, crapped out on me, so I ordered a new one from Dick Smith. It arrived yesterday, but I only had time to take it out of the box before I had to rush out again.

I went out and did some stuff involving, among other things, my first ever attempt at karaoke, something I swore I'd never do. The first song I sang was the Scotsman song, which wasn't on the list so I had to sing it without any backing music. Went down well, got a nice big cheer. I also got a fairly good response for my rendition of the King Herod Song from Jesus Christ Superstar. I tried to model my version on that of Rik Mayall. Buckets of fun, really it was!

Anyway, back to the phone. So, I got home rather tiddly and tried to set my sexy new phone up, and ran into trouble immediately - the power supply just would not fit into the phone base. I tried forcing it, but it was clearly the wrong size. Then I did something really fucking dumb - maybe the metal ring thingie on the plug is supposed to come off, thinks I, so I tried to take it off. With my teeth. While it was plugged in. The pain when my tongue touched it told me in no uncertain terms that this was a Really Really Bad Idea. By rights I should have Darwin'd myself out of the gene pool right then and there!

It was abundantly clear that the power supply was definitely the wrong one, so today I took it to Dick Smith and they replaced it for me. Got it home, the new one works grand, and all is well with the world.

About ten minutes ago, I was putting the cardboard box into my recycling bin and guess what fell out of it! Oh yes indeed, my sweethearts, it was the proper power supply for the phone. Oops.

One of two things happened here.

1: Somehow the box contained two power supplies, one ancient which I tried to use, plus the proper one which I didn't spot. That's what I'm hoping happened, because it makes me look less of a dickhead, but it's very unlikely.

2: This is far more likely - when my new phone arrived, I took all (OK, almost all) the bits and pieces out of the box and threw my old phone out immediately, except for the power supply which I missed. I got home drunk, saw all the bits and pieces on my floor, failed to notice that I was trying to use the old power supply, assumed that Dick Smith, and not I, had fucked up. My old phone must also have been a Uniden, but being fifteen to twenty years old, all brand identification was well and truly gone, hence my total failure to even think this was a possibility. And I couldn't check, because it had already been thrown out. And I don't mean into my bin where it could be retrieved, I mean GONE.

I have called Dick Smith, told them what the story is, they thanked me for my honesty, and I'll be taking the extra power supply back when I go into town this evening.

And that, my delights, is muppetry of which only a Pooky is capable.

Love yez all! :)
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